i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
