this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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