my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My vagina is very pro this idea
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
