I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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