he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
