Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The best revenge is premature balding
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
