You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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