Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize