the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
