if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
