Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
