I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
