he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
