She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize