bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
