My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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