She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
