ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
