dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Of course I have a pirate flag
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
