Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My vagina is very pro this idea
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
