Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
zippers are such a cool invention
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He shit in the fireplace
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
