We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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