dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
