i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
