i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
