just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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