Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
