Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
