Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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