im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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