Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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