just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
