I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
