i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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