Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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