I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
