And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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