I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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