I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
