if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
