What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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