I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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