Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
