Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
