I could make wine with my vomit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
