The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
