I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
