It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
