11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
