I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
