Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
