I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
