Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
