i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
