Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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