the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
