He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
