he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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