i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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