Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
