it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
