It's Friday. Sex?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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