I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
