We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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