i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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