I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
