I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
