bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
