I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
