I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
