so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
