You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
