the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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