she looked like the before picture.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
