if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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