I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
