dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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