Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
