This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
