is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
