Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize