wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
