my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize